Blog

Comic Relief

by Kristin Chesser, Human Resource Manager, Career Connections, Inc.

I was sitting here pondering subject matter for my blog post and realized that I have endless material right under my nose. At a staffing service, the social interaction we have with people is during a very high pressure and awkward time — while they are job searching — which can, of course, produce some ridiculous stories. We collect these precious tidbits in the IBT File (Incredible But True), and I would like to share with you some of my favorites.

A woman who had last worked at a local hotel completed our application. This is what she wrote in her reason for leaving section: “Got laid.” It is very important to finish your thoughts, people, especially in this situation.

The initial portion of our application process is a phone interview, where we investigate an applicant’s commitment to the area among other things. When one candidate was asked, “What brings you to the Athens area?” He replied, “I hear Meigs County has good weed.” If you’re taking notes, put that one under WHAT NOT TO SAY to your potential future employer.

Another applicant supplied us with a glowing letter of reference from a previous employer. Let’s call her Jane for purposes of confidentiality. The letter states, “I have seen Jane give her life for others on a continual basis.” That’s funny, Jane was alive and well when I interviewed her.

Our application has a box for a nickname because a lot of people go by something other than their given name. But one applicant took it to another level when she wrote, “Shnookums.”

Interests and hobbies can provide helpful insights about a job seeker, so I always check them out. What is probably not helpful, however, is a dislikes section. The following comes from the resume of one of our applicants: “Dislikes: Idleness, unfinished projects, excuses, Brussels sprouts, dolls, errors, morning glory, anything lacking imagination, and excessive rigidity.”

One woman showed up for her interview and told us she was filling out an application while she was supposed to be running errands for her boss. She also said, as she walked out the door afterward, “Don’t work too hard. I know I try not to!” How’s that for first impressions?!?

We have all written an objective on a resume, and it’s true, it can be tricky. But the guy who came up with this one didn’t seem to have any trouble: “To amplify my value as time goes on and erect a touch stone that stimulates others to imitate.” I am sorry but something about this just gives me the willies!

We have a section on our application that allows you to provide the dates you are available to work. Under “Available start date,” one applicant wrote, “3/10/06,” and under “Available until,” he wrote “Fired.” How’s that for optimism?

During a phone interview, one guy stated he was self-employed. When asked for his reason for leaving the job, he said it was because he had “an abusive boss.”

Well, I could probably go on for pages and days but I will stop with those few gems. Laughter truly is good medicine and one of the many reasons I enjoy this business so much.